What matters the most?

choix decision drive ta vie freedom psychologie May 28, 2021

What matters the most?
The things you plan or the things you feel are right in the moment?
A little (but meaningful) introspection.

What's most important?
Your family and friends, or your physical, mental and spiritual health?
Or all of the above?

I heard a lot of people wishing others “good health” in regards to the year we went through. But what conscious and concrete actions are people taking to REALLY take care of their health? For many, the answer is none. Are they hiding so they don’t have to take responsibility for their health? And where do they hide? What lies are they telling themselves?

You probably all know someone who always says this is their last piece of pie, or their last bottle of wine, or tomorrow they will start jogging or walking. You probably heard statements of “New year resolutions” that you know will never happen.

Maybe you’re the one who made such a statement!

Ask yourself...
What is the ONE thing you would REALLY want to commit to this year?
What is the ONE thing you would REALLY feel proud of in the coming months?
What is the small commitment you could take that would make you feel proud of yourself in a month or so?

A lot of people commit to demanding objectives, almost crazy goals, and never get to achieve them, even a little bit. A lot of people look into the mirror to find themselves older than they remembered, farther away from their kids or spouse, heavier and fatter than they realized.

While they do realize this, the list of excuses and reasons for not changing is long.

They are not lying to anyone, except themselves… which is the saddest part. They hold on to the thought that, “one day”, they will take the time to get to it, that when this or that will be over, they’ll have the time to tackle their goals.

But the reality is, that time NEVER comes.

I have read articles and books with a similar message, tons of them, yet I feel the need to write on this subject. I’m hoping those that need to read this for themselves or for someone they love will benefit.

Reaching for what makes you feel alive

I had planned many things during the Holidays, some related to my work. After over 15 years into it, I still love and choose this work; a profession that I get to reinvent on a regular basis. I also decided to commit to taking some time to rest. To immerse myself in nature. To reconnect. Yes, this is cliché. This is probably what a lot of people did during their break, and I am no different.

What I realized and want to share with you today, is that I made these decisions by following what made me feel ALIVE.

I strived to do what I knew would make me a better person and fuel my heart and soul enough, so that when I would get back to “work”, I would feel full. Not empty. I would feel joy, not sadness. I would be fulfilled in a way that the post-holidays transition would be smooth. And what I had taken in was going to benefit myself, my daughter, my close friends, and eventually my clients.

I allowed myself the time to feel love. To generate love. To listen. I listened to what my body needed and what my palate longed for when choosing food. I made conscious choices when prioritizing taste over everything else. Welcoming the food with gratitude. I made the conscious decision to stay in my pajamas to cuddle my daughter and watch movies, and sometimes to play games and compete.

At times, I felt the effects of isolation, and I went back to take a moment to reconnect. And to make sure I was not getting in a mood of suffering and being a victim of what is happening. Making sure I was acknowledging all the feelings, some of sadness, some of frustration.
Choosing NOT to stay in the emotion when the acknowledgment was done. Sovereignty is to be the master of our domain. Not with harshness and rigidity, but with compassion and vision.

I have been the guardian of my inner freedom.

I have made choices from love. Not from fear. I am free; because I get to choose what thoughts I cultivate. I get to choose if I want to feel guilty or proud, and how I can get to the feeling of pride.

I heard someone say: “How can you be joyful while we are all deprived of freedom? How can you be such a lunatic and ignore what is going on in the world and all the suffering?”

I say to that person, PLEASE, go back inside. And look at what makes you happy. And regain the power to be the sovereign of your happiness and joy.

Even if laughing is not an option for you at the moment, at least, make choices that will bring you close to it. Choose the music you can listen to, the movie you can watch, the food you can eat. Choose the people you can talk on the phone with. Not while thinking how frustrating it is not to be able to see each other, but appreciating how lucky you are to be alive and to still be making choices on some level. And leverage ALL the levels at which you can still make choices.

Making those choices for myself, I felt lighter and more joyful. I felt more connected to my inner self. I felt I was being the leader I want to be for myself. I felt compassion for myself during moments I did not enjoy as much. And then I made other choices.

The trick is not to pursue 100% happiness all the time. The trick is to acknowledge where you are standing every step of the way. Then you can make the changes that make sense for you. And you embrace what is, instead of resisting it. Breathing, just as I was breathing when I gave birth. Knowing there are contractions and expansions. Knowing there is beauty and peace after every moment of transition.

Plenitude and serenity is always a matter of choice. Even if it is for a few seconds in a day on some days. When you look at yourself in the mirror, comparing yourself only to yourself, you know that you were there for a few seconds. And you can build on that.

Sending LOVE your way. You or the person you were thinking of while you were reading this!

My wish to the world is that one person at the time, we regain the power of choice and the freedom of inner peace. Because this is the only way we can bring it to the world. May our year be filled with faith in our ability to choose at the level we can.


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